>yup, she’s back…

1:59 PM

>... the b*tch. I came quite close to snapping at Mom today... and I've been crabby with David for the past couple of days...


All I can say is I'm sorry. I don't know why I've been so doggone crabby. It seems like everything, no matter how minor, gets under my skin and drives me nuts.  I know a good part of it is the fact that I feel like I'm falling apart - I can't see, I can't balance, I can't focus, I forget things instantly, I've brought my klutziness to a whole different level I never thought would even be attainable for me, and it just seems like everything I used to be so good at or at least maintain some amount of competency at I FAIL at all the time now. It makes me get frustrated with myself, and then in turn I get frustrated with everyone else because they're either a. trying to help me b. showing me just how incompetent I am or c. rushing and/or confusing me (even though they may not realize that's what they're doing). It's like I have to go one thing at a time slowly be it mentally or physically, without any distraction or else I get confused, and it makes me feel so downright dumb. There's nothing like performing at a level far below what you know you are capable of. I can plan and organize away at everything but it all seems to fall apart when I try to put it into action. Gahhh!

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