>“what was lost now found”

10:31 AM

>About a week ago (maybe more), I got the surprise of a lifetime.

A message in my Myspace inbox from my youngest half brother. Someone that I haven't had any contact whatsoever with since I was 18 months old and he was 12.

Since then, I've learned a lot about my father and the family on his end. I've started to know my brother beyond being just a face in old pictures. I've also learned a lot about what happened between my father and my mom, and my mom for the first time in my life has really opened up about what happened back then. I've learned that you can actually love and know someone that you didn't think you actually knew anything about.

For the first time in my life, I know what it is to be proud of my heritage - ALL of it, and not just half of it. For once in my life I'm also knowing where all those "quirks" in myself came from that were unheard of in my mother's family.

I also now know what a great man my father was. I wish more than ever now that I knew him, or at least gotten one chance to talk to him before he passed.

I at least do have my brother now. He is a great man as well, and I am proud of him.

I don't really have much more to say. I'm still reflecting on everything that has happened, and everything that I have learned. So I am closing this with a poem that he composed and sent me the other day. In many ways it reflects my feelings as well:

What was lost now found has just realized
the limit captured in potential
since everybody is sort of incomplete anyway

What was lost now found was really always known
just not seen
and the love that was always there never
became a stranger
but a stranger to herself she just realized

What was lost is now found with more strength then I could've imagined

that little 3 year old now grown, now with child
another generation chasin' themselves backwards
like clear water people swimmin' up water falls

What was lost now found has touched my heart all over again
and I can't believe since i

was never really a believer after she left.

What was lost now is found like forgotten inspiration
motivation left by the wayside, steps retraced just to find a new face.

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