>more thoughts

5:29 AM

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So I keep thinking about what I told Jim, and none of it was really out of line except for the fact it was old news. For some reason it really got under his skin, though, even though at the time of writing it I didn't want it to and still don't want it to. I was crying when I wrote it - I was angry at the world and needed to let him know that he was one of the people in it that had ruined me. But of course he sees not his actions but the actions of others instead, and now he's angry at me over it. Ce la vie. The only person I'm fighting for now is Brennan, since he has decided Brennan doesn't deserve the family heirlooms I was going to pass down to him.

I think I know why it got under his skin, but I don't think I will reveal that here. That's most definitely personal.

It's sad though that his best friend and his girlfriend both seem more reasonable than he is, though. And he may not realize it yet but his actions with me will more than likely affect his relationship with her later on down the road when she starts connecting the dots and realizing that all his exes were not crazy whores like he claims. Our stories all match even though we don't even know each other. One compared him to a yo yo, the other said he forced her in to having sex and then dumped her when she thought she might be pregnant. Every single one of us claim he has issues, and you know what? I don't know about most people but I don't have that problem with my exes. I'm still on good terms with most of them. I just worry that a little five year old is getting mixed up in this mess now and that scares me. When you become a mother to one child you become a mother to them all. My prayers go out to her more than anyone else.

Anyways, it's interesting how people reveal more of themselves than they think they are. It's like it's part of the human condition.

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