>only a mother's love

9:36 AM

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Mary Kay CarImage by pupok via Flickr

The main office still hasn't called back. I consulted with a lawyer (family friend) and unfortunately I don't have much of a case because I hadn't hit my three month mark yet working for them. If I had I would have one hell of a case.

Brennan has been a little devil the past few days. He's been getting in to everything he knows he's not supposed to every chance he gets and throwing a temper tantrum because he can't have it. I guess we're making progress in to the terrible two's.

I've been feeling much better. I think my panic attacks may have been brought on by the abusive environment I was working in and the stress of going two weeks with only 22 hours. I don't know yet if I'm going to start looking for another job. If I do I'll probably look to waitress a few days a week because I really don't want to put Brennan in day care and I must admit I'm rather distrustful of babysitters. I don't know if it's a mom thing or what but I worry about Brennan being placed in the wrong hands. The "wrong hands" means someone that won't take the same kind of care of him that we do - not necessarily someone that will abuse him.

I must admit I'm very specific about Brennan's care, right down to what he eats. I just want to make sure he gets the best care possible. Sweets are a rare treat, juice and water are his staple drinks (along with milk of course), and he gets plenty of grains, fruits, veggies, and meats that are rich in Omega 3s. He's allowed to run around the house so I can teach him what is ok to mess with and what's not ok to mess with, and he's only put in his room with a safety gate up when I can't keep an eye on him or he just needs some time to play alone or a few minutes in his playpen if he's getting in to a lot of trouble. I teach him how to play with his toys, I go over words, letters, colors, shapes, and numbers with him. If he reaches for a book he always gets read to (I've tried the every day thing but it's worthless unless he's actually interested in hearing a story). I sing and dance with him and he gets lots of cuddles and rough housing and kisses. Oh, and I take him out for walks so he can explore the world. Unfortunately I can't keep him clean all the time because of his rambunctious activities but I have learned the trick of taking a baby wipe to him several times a day (Thanks, Shannon!). Most importantly, I talk to him. We have entire conversations. I may not understand what he says but he doesn't seem to mind one bit.

I love him. Can anyone love him as much as his mother?

Today Brennan mastered the flashlight. He knows how to turn it both on and off. He also took apart his sippie cup, which involved unscrewing the lid, taking the straw out, and taking the plug off the straw. Still haven't found the plug and I can't even seem to figure out how he managed to get the straw out because I can't get it back in. Yet he still refuses to even attempt to eat with a spoon and prefers using his fingers instead, even though he has thoroughly shown he has the motor skills to do it. -_-;

Assist him? Oh no. He pitches a temper tantrum if you try to guide him through it. He's very much the I'll-do-it-myself-er.

The safety gate isn't very much effective any more either since he's learned to climb it. We're teaching him not to but he still has his defiant moments.

I'm thinking about getting back in to Mary Kay. Not sure about it, though. Still... it would be a means of earning a little extra money on the side and I could even take Brennan with me on house calls (my little mascot, hehe).

Right now I'm sitting here hoping he'll take his 1:00 p.m. nap. It's not looking like it's going to happen.

Oops, no, it happened. :)

Now I'm off to get some work done I couldn't get done otherwise. ;)


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