>trying to cope

10:41 AM

>I keep on trying to get over the shock of Winter's death. I keep telling myself he's dead but it's like it's just not sinking through. I don't believe it.

I tried going to Petfinder.com last night to look at kittens after David asked if I wanted to get another one eventually. I thought maybe if I looked at some cute kittens it would somewhat stimulate me to want to get another cat some day. I looked at the pictures and didn't feel anything, though. None of them looked like Winter, so I wasn't interested. What was so strange though was how I felt absolutely nothing towards them... nothing. I didn't care.

I just want Winter back. It's all I can do to keep from just taking off and searching for him because I just want to believe that if I look for him I'm going to find him and this will all turn out to be one big mistake. Or maybe there's such a thing as reincarnation and I will find him again. Or at least maybe his twin...

I know I'm sounding crazy. Like I said though, I just can't seem to get myself to believe that he's really gone, gone, gone.

I want my blue eyed angel back.

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