>I know where I went wrong now

6:10 PM

>I know exactly what happened now and what I could have done to keep from enabling the situation.

I remember the actual point where I stopped giving myself positive self talk and fell back in to my old attitudes. I just need to get a stronger hold on that and hold on to it through thick and thin.

As for the drama triangle, this person was playing the persecutor role, and more specifically, the angry/defiant child role in which they blame others for the way they feel. I was of course in the victim role. I started out as the defender but switched.

And interestingly enough, the positive self talk wasn't all that strong at the moment that I said what I did and blocked them, either. I was sick so I was mostly just feeling miserable, and it's rather tough for me to do the positive self talk when I'm sick. I've been working on it but after a week of this junk it's gotten pretty weak.

Probably the best thing to have done would have been to just block them and not say anything at all. While that may have not neutralized the situation, it would have at least bought me some time to figure out how to approach the situation and them some time to chill out. Also, I need to start locking my doors as soon as someone starts to rage even if they are on the phone or online just to prevent the rager from doing the typical rager thing by busting in someone's home because in the middle of a rage they think they have every right to.

Most importantly, though, I could have nipped this situation in the bud by recognizing and acting on the fact that this person displayed the same kind of dysfunctional behavior that I have a habit of enabling. I remember telling someone when my therapy started that I had a funny feeling I would eventually end up having to end my friendship with this person because I realized back then that they demonstrated the same kind of behavior I was beginning to learn was like an infectious disease that you need to avoid. So basically, I recognized back then that it was going to happen, but I didn't act on it by going ahead and cutting things off.

It's strange - the twists and bends our minds can take. It makes one wonder how behavioral experts ever figured things out as well as they have.

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