>breaking some ground

2:15 PM


I have made a few realizations lately in regards to my last post.

Rather than just sit back and judge these guys, my curiosity got the best of me and I went to several popular webcam "hook up" chats and waited for guys to message me. Rather than engage in any sexual behavior with them though I just simply conversed with them about why they were there. I was very open about why I was there, answering my own questions after they had answered them, and this seemed to put them more at ease so they disclosed more about themselves (I have a way with drawing people out of themselves... it has something to do with being an INFP).

I realized that most of the guys in my age group aren't really looking for just a way to get off and feed an addiction, but usually are single or have problems with their spouse consenting to minor sexual exploration. I also realized that most of them were not looking for young women but women around their own age, probably because of the difference in mental and emotional maturity and the ability to relate to life. My interactions with them left me realizing that I actually have a lot going for me and it is through no lack of my own that he is, for lack of a better word, sick. It also left me with the realization there really are a lot of decent men out there that appreciate women for their minds and not just their bodies.

I also realized that while many of the guys I know in real life do this, the majority of them I would not even begin to date because I sense they are behaviorally challenged. So that leaves the question as to why I still ended up dating so many guys that did this without even realizing at the beginning that they did.

At first, this really puzzled me. In order for me to fall for guys that objectify women, it means that I have to have been raised in an environment where women were objectified. While I was raised in a very old fashioned women-are-women-men-are-men environment, I could not recall any objectification of women in the form of simply appreciating them for their bodies.

Then it clicked with me. My grandfather hated women. He loved the female form in an artistic sense (sketches, paintings, etc.) so I didn't really catch on to the connection between that and loving the female form in a sexual sense. But if that were flipped with loving women's bodies in a sexual sense, it would fit the bill perfectly because he also despised their personalities, which is successfully objectifying them (worthless personality/desirable object that can be manipulated). He also cheated on my grandmother a lot, although it was way before I came in to the picture and no one told me about until I was in my late teens.

Anyways, this brings me to sniff out guys that have a wonderful appreciation for the female form (i.e. sexual desire) but have little desire to actually connect with a female emotionally/mentally (i.e. form a real relationship).

I think I just broke some ground here. :)
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