Quitting Smoking...

3:17 PM

It's been so long since I started smoking (16) that I don't even remember what it feels like to not smoke. Like, what exactly did I do with my extra time when I didn't smoke? I can't even remember. My hands feel so strange and empty. I know this is the easiest part to overcome though so long as I keep my determination to quit. The nicotine withdrawal is a little harder, but thankfully that does not come until later thanks to the use of nicotine gum. I have found that strangely enough, knitting helps a lot with the restless hands, LOL.


I find myself asking  myself why I want a cigarette so badly. Sometimes it's something simple, like nicotine withdrawal. Other times it's something a bit more difficult to handle, like stress or anxiety. Yet other times I find myself unable to come up with any explanation at all. I blame this on the oral addiction aspects more than anything else.


What do I mean by "oral addiction"? Well, I was one of those kids that sucked my finger for a long time, longer than I should have. Later on even though I quit I continued another oral habit: biting my nails. When I got older it transferred over in to smoking. I don't know why I have an oral addiction - maybe it was the fact my mother had to stop breast feeding early. I don't know.


I do know however that has been the absolute hardest aspect of quitting smoking so far. Nicotine gum helps a lot, a lot more than the patch did when I tried to quit smoking via its usage.


Anyways, hopefully this time I will be successful. I have four huge boxes of nicotine gum so there's really no reason why I shouldn't be successful this time as long as I keep trying and don't give up.


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