And this is what true inner strength is like...

3:33 PM

You keep going on not because you want to, but because you have to.

You keep going on, no matter how much you want to lay down and die, no matter how much you want to give up. 
You keep going on, no matter how little you can actually do... you still do it.
You keep going on, telling yourself that a little progress is better than no progress.
You keep going on, reminding yourself that the chances of success are zero if you don't. 
You keep going on, reminding yourself that there is always a chance you may win it.
You keep going on, no matter how tired your body is, no matter how sick your soul is.
You keep going on, because you have no other choice.
You keep going on, because you know you will die on the inside if you don't. 
You keep going on, no matter how crazy they think you are or you feel.
You keep going on, no matter how broken you are... you still pick up the pieces, bind them in tape, and keep going on.
You keep going on, even though you see the world is falling apart and there may not be any hope for your future.
You keep going on, even though you have no idea why you do. 
You keep going on, trusting in God even when God seems to be absent from your life.
You keep going on, trusting in the universe even when the universe seems to be chaotic, cruel, and lonely.
You keep going on, because you have someone or something to keep going on for, and you're all the hope they've got.

It does not mean that there are days you don't weep and sob and believe the world is over and there's no point in going on any more.
It does not mean there are not days, weeks, even months that you feel like you're hopeless and groveling in the dark.
It does not mean that you never give up - just that even when you do, it never last for very long before you pick your burden back up to try again.
It does not mean that you are never weak and in need of someone's help, listening ear, or encouragement to keep on doing your best.
It does not mean that you are alone... nor does it mean that you are not alone.

True inner strength is like holding a dagger you do not have the guts to stab into your chest.
True inner strength is like not having the will to live, but having even less will to die.
It is an eternal state of suspension, waiting for a little fuel to add to the fire before the flames flicker out forever.

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